After a devastating heartbreak opened up deeper wounds, Shirin Etessam embraced practical spirituality to unearth her best self. In her new book, Free to Be: A Six-Week Guide to Reclaiming Your Soul, Shirin shares her discovery, opening her heart to help others find their own unique path to a life of lasting fulfillment.
As a seasoned media executive and successful entrepreneur, Shirin Etessam truly believed she was winning in life, having worked hard and checked off all the “boxes.” She had the degrees, the awards, the accolades, the positions, the companies, the status, the homes, and more, when a 20-minute conversation resulted in the heartbreaking end to a 20-year-plus relationship and partnership, which sent Shirin into a tailspin of darkness and confusion.
In her new book, she shares her personal story with honesty and candor, “I realized fairly quickly it wasn’t a matter of only a broken heart. Everything felt broken. I was terrified my undoing would be the second damaging blow to my kids, who were only five and seven at the time. The magnitude of the brokenness confused me because I had all the ‘things’ that defined worldly ‘success’ and yet I felt utterly broken.”
Shirin found herself in an impossible situation, plunged into what she describes as “a dark abyss of nothingness.” As difficult as it was, she was unwilling to have this be her story. Her broken heart opened larger wounds, some she didn’t even know existed, and so began her trek to reclaim her soul and her life. Her journey would become an arduous six-year adventure which eventually led to an amazing breakthrough. In her new book, Free to Be: A Six-Week Guide to Reclaiming Your Soul, Shirin shares what led to her breakthrough and guides those who are facing their own impossible through the process of reconnecting with their souls and rewriting their life’s story from the inside out.
Shifting Inward
Over the course of what she deems her “magical mystery tour,” Shirin longed for a guide out of the abyss but found none. Ultimately, her final “aha” moment came. She realized if she had only had a guide, her six-year transformational trek could have been accomplished in a much shorter period. Free to Be is the result, the guidebook she wished she had when she was at her crossroad, on her knees, searching for her soul. Finally finding herself, she discovered the possible in the impossible and hopes to help others do the same.
Defining Spirituality
Her transformation began with the defining of her own spirituality. Her process, which she calls “practical spirituality,” is “spiritual health and wellness.” Her soul journey was not “out there,” not religious. She reasons, “there is no specific God, but rather powers, frequencies, and energies which while beyond our comprehension are always at work. The soul is the God within, where science and spirituality dance together.” She learned to embrace spiritual health and wellness as a part of daily life, much like we go to the gym, follow a healthy diet, or consult a therapist, incorporating it into the here and now. Scientific research proclaims an undeniable connection between physical health, mental health, and spirituality which are integral parts of our existence. In fact a recent survey showed “higher levels of spirituality are strongly correlated with higher life satisfaction.”
Reclaiming the Soul
In researching for her book, Shirin learned that humans dissociate at some point between birth and age seven. The degree of the dissociation can be very mild to very severe depending on the severity and extent of the trauma. She explains, “As babies and toddlers, we live from our true essence, our inner star, our soul. Then something happens and we dissociate because we don’t feel safe or worthy. The process buries the star (our soul) within us.” Life pushes our soul into a corner where it is neglected, failing to shine the light we were born to bring to the world.
In her six year process, Shirin unearthed and reclaimed her soul by peeling back the many layers of external “should do’s” and unlearning many beliefs that no longer served her. She hopes to help others develop similar soul-habits to shift and shape their lives dramatically and profoundly. The process must be experienced, granting the soul permission to lead and guide the way.
Though Shirin makes it clear that the six week process is very intentionally structured the way it is for maximum results and states there are no shortcuts to the process, she offers these three insights which we can practice now:
- Limiting the Content We Consume – Shirin clarifies, “If we choose to mindlessly consume content (Netflix, social media, TikTok, YouTube, etc.) without considering whether or not the content serves you, the ramifications are similar to eating whatever, whenever you want.” The goal should be to set healthy boundaries and develop new habits which allow control over what we receive and when. When we limit what we put into content which lifts us up and enhances our learning, we feed our souls.
- The Daily Purge –Shirin explains, “80 percent of our thoughts are harmful and 95 percent are repetitive, which means we need to wipe the slate of our mind clean every morning.” The daily purge is an activity designed to release the endless thoughts mucking up our mind and clearing the slate each day. Choose the activity – writing, doodling, singing, dancing, walking, swimming, or running – and do it for six minutes every single morning with the goal being to purge all the information we’ve acquired from the previous 24-hour telling us who we are supposed to be. During the daily purge, there is no strategizing, planning, making lists, problem solving; there is only purge and release so you can start the day with a clean slate and a body, mind, heart, and soul ready to make positive changes.
- Play – Brian Sutton-Smith, pioneer play researcher, says, “The opposite of play is not work. It’s depression.” Shirin admits, “Our hearts and souls are starved for play. We need to reconnect with our ‘inner child’ and play like we did when we were little.” Play only has one rule – play for play’s sake, for joy and bliss. Though we may have lost play early in our life, now is the time to bring it back! In fact, play is essential for our overall well-being. Play helps us connect and build trust with others. Play enhances our creativity. Play even increases job satisfaction and morale. Most importantly, play provides balance, allowing our souls to come alive and thrive rather than simply going through the motions.
Rediscovering The Possible – Rewriting Your Story
In Free to Be, Shirin offers purposeful insights, crafted into six easily digestible weeks, promising benefits galore. Wherever you are in your journey, you can begin today – discovering practical spirituality, reclaiming your soul, and uncovering the possible as you rewrite your story.
Article presented by Mindful Agency
